Career Change

With my support, Scooter has decided not to pursue radiology or clinical medicine any further. He has been offered a nonclinical fellowship position at Stanford University and we are moving to Palo Alto, California in a few short weeks!

For quite a while now, Scooter has been feeling less like being a doctor was a good fit for him. This last year while he has finally been practicing the specialty of his choice his unhappiness and dissatisfaction have only grown. With a minimum of four years of training still ahead of him, he got to the point where that amount of time seemed almost insurmountable. He became increasingly sure that he was not going to want to practice medicine as his future career, and didn’t see enough value in completing the training for a career that he didn’t want. His decision had nothing to do with his performance as a radiologist, in fact, he was doing very well, but the decision was necessitated by his coming to terms with his changing interests. I am so proud of my husband for being brave enough to take this drastic step to fight for his own happiness.

To some, this announcement might not seem as dramatic as it actually is. It is quite common for physicians to switch specialties mid-training, but to completely leave clinical medicine is rarely done. To illustrate, less than one hour after the staff of the radiology department at Mayo (where he currently works) were informed that he would be leaving the program, Scooter started receiving emails from people at other hospitals in Phoenix wondering what was going on. That’s how fast the word spread.

For those that are interested, I’ve answered some questions that frequently come up…

Did he get kicked out of his program? Absolutely not. The people at Mayo Clinic are sad to see him go and tried very hard to convince him to stay.

Did he not like his program/the Mayo Clinic? Scooter has nothing but good things to say about his program and, particularly, the people he worked with. The program director has been such a blessing and couldn’t have been more helpful and empathetic during Scooter’s decision-making process.

So, he won’t be a doctor anymore? At this point, we don’t foresee him treating patients in any clinical capacity in the future, but he will maintain an active medical license and hasn’t closed the door to that possibility.

Why can’t he just “suck it up and finish”? Scooter is the hardest worker I know, so he could make himself finish, but we didn’t see the point of him doing four more years of training (after the six he has already done) to then decide not to practice. Finishing his training just doesn’t really align with his long-term career goals anymore.

So all those years of training are wasted? We don’t see it like that. Firstly, in addition to his MD, Scooter has an MBA and a Masters in Healthcare Administration, so those two degrees will be extremely relevant in the future. We also feel that completing as much medical training as he has, makes him uniquely placed to understand the medical field and the healthcare industry generally. He has already been offered a leadership position in his fellowship program because of his prior training.

What are some of the things you guys are forfeiting because of this decision? We feel the main thing we are giving up is security and predictability. This may be over-simplifying things, but being a practicing physician has a very clear career path with a very predictable salary and trajectory. For now, the new path Scooter has chosen is completely full of unknowns, but we felt that giving up the predictability of clinical medicine was worth it for a chance for Scooter to really be passionate about and enjoy his career.

How could he get through so much training before realizing medicine wasn’t for him? If he felt unhappy in medical school we would tell ourselves that it was because he was the “pee on”, or he didn’t have any responsibility, or he was only getting to learn very general medicine which was less interesting to him than specializing. We told ourselves that when he got to residency and didn’t have to do broad, general medicine and could specialize in his chosen field that he would enjoy it more. Most people don’t enjoy their intern year as they are completely worked to death, so last year we were just looking forward to this year. This year was his first year of finally doing the type of medicine that made him want to go to medical school ten years ago when we started this process. 

What have the past couple months looked like for you guys? The past few months have been incredibly emotionally intense as we’ve weighed the pros and cons of our decision. We’ve been staying up half the night making pro/con lists, finding and applying for jobs and fellowships, filling out applications, writing and editing admissions essays, counseling with each other, family, friends, church leaders, colleagues, and acquaintances, and working on renovating and prepping our house for a move, all while sending Scooter off to work in the morning where he had to pretend like nothing was going on. Everything we’ve done has been wrapped in super high-stakes outcome stress. The stress has even bled into our sleep – I’ve been wakened up countless times by dreams where I feel like I am falling. It has really felt like a refining fire, but we feel like the end of this particular stretch of trying times is in sight.

What’s he going to do at Stanford? The Stanford University fellowship that Scooter has been accepted to, is called the CERC program.  The fellows design, test and evaluate models of healthcare delivery that lower population-wide spending for higher quality care. He is ridiculously excited about it. I’ve rarely seen him so passionate about something.

Where are you going to leave? The program starts on August 1^st, but they prefer to have him there on July 15^th! We only found out about his acceptance a couple weeks ago while we were in Switzerland, so we are feeling pretty overwhelmed right now.

What about your house? When we bought our home 12 months ago, we thought we’d be in Phoenix for 4 years, so now that we are selling it we are trying to do four years’ worth of updates in a few short weeks. We are hoping to have it listed by this Saturday! It has been crazy.

Are you sad to leave Phoenix? Yes! That has been something that is really hard because we have loved it here. We love our house, our friends, our neighborhood, my gym, our ward, the weather, the proximity to family, etc.

How are you feeling about all of this, Jessica? It’s been an emotional roller coaster. I’ve known that there was a high likelihood of this outcome for about three months now, so I have really had time to run the entire gamut of emotions. I feel like the five stages of loss- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – really apply here. I still have high and low days, but overall I’m in a good place now and am so proud of Scooter (and me too!) for being brave enough to take this step into the unknown. This whole experience has built my faith more than almost any other experience of my life, so I am grateful for that.

I want to talk to Scooter about this! My Instagram account is basically the only social media that either of us use, so many of his colleagues and friends are hearing about our decision because we've linked

here. If anyone wants to reach out and talk to Scooter about this, he is more than happy to field emails and phone calls. I’ll try to answer any questions left in the Instagram comments as well.

Overall, we are so grateful and excited that Scooter is getting a chance to pursue something he is really passionate about. It feels like this course correction has finally gotten us on the right path. We are excited to see what the future has in store for us!

We Couldn't Be More Thrilled...!!!

Announcing...

365 Days: Week 23

This week four of my seven pictures were of food. Not sure why I was so obsessed... Maybe after our extended separation I was excited to remind Scooter that I can cook? 

Look at that smile! I wish you could hear the adorable laugh that goes with it.

Some nights are just pizza nights. Why is it that some days putting dinner on the table just seems like an insurmountable task?

I made jam. I made the classic strawberry but also tried a new flavor - strawberry/blueberry. Yum!

This kid is growing teeth faster than a shark! We were trying to check and see if his second front tooth had broken through - it had, but Scooter also noticed that the tooth next to his froth tooth had broken through as well. So, we thought he had one more but it is actually two more!

I spent some time at Kinko's today working on an anniversary present for Scooter. 

Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries were all on sale - hallelujah! 

A lemon cheesecake for Father's Day. I was proud because it didn't even crack! I hoped the oven bag would protect the springform pan from leaking, but a tiny bit of water still got in somehow. I guess I should have used foil plus the bag...

365 Days: Week 22

I am still taking pictures every day but just getting really behind on posting them, but I will try to do it when I can find the time.

This week kicked off with Brad, Rachelle, and Avery coming to St. George for my last few days and me going back home to my much-missed husband. My mom and I didn't tell my dad that Rachelle, Avery, and Brad were coming to St. George so it was fun to see the look on his face when they all walked in. 

Rachelle and Brad are such darling parents. Brad is so proud of her and loves to be really involved. She is really a beautiful baby and super alert all the time. It is so fun to have a baby girl in the family now - just look at that bow!

It was too windy to go boating, but I wanted to go to Sand Hollow one last time before I went back to Kansas. I sure love that place. 

Scooter and Lincoln were sure happy to see each other. It had been three weeks! We were kinda testing our limits on this trip and we decided that two weeks was definitely our limit. Scooter is so sweet to let me leave for such long periods of time, but we figure that if we are spending all that money to fly there I may as well stay long enough to make it worth it. Lincoln had gotten much more wiggly since Scooter had last seen him and he was amazed at how impossible difficult it was to diaper and dress him. Lincoln was so happy to see his daddy that he was super hyper which didn't help the situation. 

More Scooter and Lincoln re-connection and bonding time. We did almost nothing after Scooter got home except play together. It's so fun to be together. No one is better at getting Lincoln to laugh than Scooter. 

I decided to paint the back of my bookcases. I tried out three colors. Which one do you think I chose?

Love this kid. 

Lincoln's first real swim. I had been looking forward to this for months. It didn't disappoint. Lincoln didn't love his hat, but at least he didn't get a sunburn!

365 Days: Week 21

This week I spent just relaxing in St. George. Andrea, Adam, their two kids, and Lauren came down for the Memorial Day weekend. Everyone always makes a big deal of me coming to Utah and always goes out of their way to see me as much as possible. I feel so loved!

We liked the park where we had some of the reunion so much that we went the next day after church to let Eli play. I love Andrea and Adam admiring Oliver in this photo. That is one of the fun things about newborns - studying them and admiring them endlessly. 

Memorial Day. This was Lincoln's first time going on the boat. I thought he would be nervous, but he really loved it. It is one of my favorite things to do, so it was fun to be able to share it with him. Going to the lake is becoming more and more complicated with more and more babies in the family. This trip involved three separate cars going to the lake at two different times and three cars coming home all separately. Working around naps is hard, but I think as the kids get older and need less/no naps it will get easy again and really fun. 

My friend Zach and his wife Mariya came over to see Lincoln, who was, as usual, completely charming. 

Lincoln figured out how to give kisses. They are really sloppy and he doesn't have the best aim, but the sweetest kisses in the whole world. (No, I'm not naked. Just in a swimsuit.) 

My mom and I left Lincoln with my dad for a couple hours in the afternoon while we went to see a movie. Who knew that my dad was a babysitting prodigy? Lincoln woke up from his nap very prematurely and my dad didn't panic or just let him wake up. He went in there and soothed him back to sleep! When we got home from the movie we found him out showing Lincoln off to any neighbor that he encountered. Gold stars for grandpa!

We took Lincoln to the Town Center Park again. This time he liked it even more and warmed up to it more quickly. He explores everything with his mouth and didn't think that this waterfall should be an exception. 

We went to Beaver Dam, Arizona to see my dad's band play at the Beaver Dam Jam -  a multi-day music festival. It was hot as Hades! My dad's band sounded really good. I really enjoy watching them. I used to be embarrassed - what high school girl would want to see her dad on lead guitar in a classic rock and roll cover band? - but now I think it is so awesome that he has a hobby that he loves and has fun with. 

365 Days: Week 20

This week was more hanging with the family mixed in the with the mounting stress of my upcoming high school reunion. There were only two of us planning and putting it together, so I was feeling the pressure. 

The last solar eclipse was when I was in fourth grade and I still remember going out on the playground with these special pieces of glass to look through. Needless to say we were really excited about this one and were totally geeking out about it. Since you'll really hurt your eyes if you look directly at it (plus you can't really see it that way anyway - it's too bright) Adam made viewing devices with poster tubes and cereal boxes so we could see the shadow of it projected onto a paper. That wasn't satisfying enough, so we called around his neighborhood until we found someone with a welding mask. We walked up to their house and watched it through the welding mask. It was much more satisfying plus I was able to take these pics through it as well (that's why it looks green). Overall it got sort of dim outside and you could tell that the light was different somehow. 

Another trip to the park plus packing up our stuff to move our circus down to St. George for the duration of my trip. 

Our drive to St. George was pretty interesting. We got a later start than we should have, so Lincoln was pretty unhappy to be in his car seat. My mom started singing to him to calm him down. He stopped crying, but would start up again every time she stopped singing. Bless her heart, my mom sang to him for two full hours! She ran out of nursery rhymes pretty quickly, then moved on to Primary songs and hymns, then any other songs she could think of. After about 90 minutes she started coming up with really weird choices. We were laughing so hard. Thankfully, Lincoln finally fell asleep before my mom lost her voice completely, but it was hoarse the next day. 

My mom had been in northern Utah since the end of April so she could be there for the births of the two new babies and so she could help my sisters. My poor dad had been pretty lonely and really missing her. From the looks of things, all the houseplants really missed my mom too!

We took some time out of reunion preparations to take Lincoln to the Town Square Park for his first non-bath water experience. He was pretty wary at first, but warmed up to it after a while. He didn't like to wear his hat, but he loved watching all the other kids playing. That park is really a neat place for kids - we are so glad they put it in. 

The day before my reunion and I was busy, busy, busy! It was hard to plan it when neither I, nor the girl helping me, lived in St. George anymore. We couldn't travel there with pre-prepared things, so we had to make and buy everything once we got there, which didn't leave much time. We felt like we were throwing stuff together at the last minute. I had a craft table set out in my parents garage. As part of the decor I made these vases with everyone's yearbook picture on them. My parents were seriously so supportive and couldn't have been more helpful. My dad even helped me Modge Podge these vases!

The reunion was, in my opinion, a success. There were two events -  a family one at a park during the afternoon and a more formal adults-only one at a hotel later that night. These were some of the people from our class that came and most brought a spouse/guest so we had a pretty good turn out (about 50 out of a class of around 300). It was fun to see my old friends and reminisce. Isn't it funny how girls aren't reluctant to be in photos so they are all in the front and all the boys are in the back. I literally had to push the boys a little bit to get them to stand this close together (!) and they were hiding behind each other (!). I think everyone that came had a good time. I had people tell me that they had been dragged there by a friend and hadn't really wanted to come but were really glad that they did.  Hopefully they will spread the word that it was fun and we will get even more people at the next one. 

I just have to add a HUGE thank you to my family (especially my parents) who were literally saints to help me with all of this. They really went above and beyond. They had nothing invested in the reunion  - no one would have known if they hadn't helped at all, but they were amazing and helped anyway. That's just the kind of people I'm lucky enough to have in my family! They watched Lincoln a ton so I could get things done. Poor Lincoln basically only saw me for nursing sessions for two days. Not only did they watch Lincoln, but they did a bunch of other stuff as well. My parents let me use their cars, make a huge crafting mess in their house (which they even cleaned up afterwards!), helped decorate the space, drove me all over, helped me set up and tear down two events, brought Lincoln to me so I could feed him, helped set up signs on the road during a huge windstorm, ran errands for me that I didn't have time to do, dropped things off during the reunion that I'd forgotten, manned the welcome table, and more.  I couldn't have done it without them. Thanks family!